No longer do I claim the title of “not a crier.” Now I just get really annoyed by the tears when they pop up in moments that should not elicit tears. For example, when a little one makes a basket in an elementary basketball game and you see her dad and grandpa jump up in pure excitement for her. (Yep. That one got me good yesterday. Thanks a lot Bob and Ben!)
It’s people being there for people, loads of love, and selflessness that leads to the tears for me. There have been times over the years Kyle has asked why I was crying (this was quite an uncommon action for me the first 3 years of our marriage – he’s getting used to it now – since he’s taught me it’s okay to be vulnerable and destroy the really tall walls I had built up over the years). And my response was often, “They just care.”
I am married to a flippin’ rockstar of a man. A man who goes out of his way for others, rarely thinks of himself (aside from two specific situations that I know you know of, Kyle Fuller), and gives and gives and gives. A man who loved me well when I was overcome with wretched depression while pregnant with Malachi. The type that makes you not want to get out of bed or function for months. A man who took on a two year old and ten month old when he married me and not only does he tolerate them…he cleans up their puke and tucks them in and reads that extra book they ask for. He traded in a Harley for a minivan for crying out loud. The guy is my favorite.
I did not intend for this post to be about Kyle’s character and he’s going to be annoyed if he reads this because I’m making it about him…so moving on.
We are human. We have rough mornings or days or years. Some mornings you wake up raring to go at life and then someone makes you feel like a pile of trash. Some days you are unable to live up to your role as the people pleaser. Some moments you are fighting for someone else’s well being and in one way or another it ends with you being made to feel like rubbish.
Life does not always look like “they just care.” Sometimes it looks like no one cares and thoughts and feelings of being unwanted and unloved and not enough creep up and tackle you like _______ (insert really cool football player here – I can only think of Wilson Garrison and I don’t even know what position he played). But even in these moments where you might be made to feel like this, remember love.
“Love is not dependent on good feelings, but rather on a consistent and courageous decision to extend oneself for the well-being of another. The commitment then produces good feelings, not the other way around.” -Unknown
“Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” John 13:35
I feel as though I do a pretty good job portraying to this digital world that I am far from perfect. Y’all get to hear a lot of my “my life is a crazy circus” stories, the “I have nothing organized in my entire life-I forgot the snacks again” stories, the “no one can find clean underwear” stories, and more. It’s not all cupcakes and rainbows here, and life is sometimes a mess…but at the end of the day I just want to be a person that loves other people.
Love does not always come easily, especially when trying to love enemies, but as believers we are called to do this. We consistently and courageously make the decision to extend oneself for the well-being of others. We just care.