Centimeters. That is how close I am to having no little humans running around my home. My gauge, you ask? Jeremiah’s two front teeth. Those two adult teeth are what draws the boundary line between little kid and big kid. It’s rude and I’ve been betrayed. Centimeters. Additionally, I have a bag of size 5T … Continue reading The Monumental & Mundane
Yes, years ago, I asked my little sister to take off her duct-taped moccasins and wade through receding flood waters to ensure I could successfully drive down a street. It was passable and no ill came upon us. Once back on the road she cracked open my bible and returned to quizzing me as I … Continue reading Face Forward
There was a mystery puker at my house on Saturday night. The next morning, I did interviews to check everyone’s wellness and determine whose mother needed to be informed. Later, I received a text from one of the mommas. “He said he really doesn’t think it was him. He said, ‘There was another girl there … Continue reading Seemingly Fine
“It’s a panty bag!!” Last week, J and I were playing a game called Hedbanz. You put on a headband, throw a card in it so that only the other person can see it, and then guess what your card is. The card on his head was a purple purse. I said, “Man, buddy. I … Continue reading The Dash
The Oklahoma death sun is, once again, trying to kill me and everyone’s grass. At the beginning of the heat spell that came straight from Hades, I was attempting to water my grass sporadically. One day, in my desperation and dramatics, I set the water hose down to flood the ground for 10 minutes. An … Continue reading The Green Spot
Boiled eggs will explode if left until all the water evaporates. It’s not that they boil for too long, but that the environment shifts, pressure builds, and all of a sudden there are remnants of eggs decorating the stove. The heat that was once harmless is now destructive. Recently, I caught a pot of eggs … Continue reading Evaporation
Cross country season is upon us. The season of stickers and early mornings. Without my prompting, both of my girls decided they’re going to be runners. Before the sun rises, I drop them off for practice and head off for a walk. Shortly after, I bumped into a friend who had done the same thing. … Continue reading Pace
For 18 months, I ran past a tan colored tail-end of an extension cord. A 10-inch piece of cord lay in the street beside a stop sign at the edge of an elderly person’s yard. For the first two weeks, every time I saw it, I thought it was a snake. My heart would jump, … Continue reading Notice
Seven. The number of toothbrushes in our grown-up bathroom. Two. The number of grown-ups who dwell in this home. Four. The number of children who have gifted us one or more of their toothbrushes. Three. The number of children who fail to brush their teeth unless instructed to do so. The toothbrushes are held in … Continue reading Cracked, But Holding
Apparently, I unintentionally murdered a sand dollar who once lived on Morro Bay as I added it to my collection and proceeded to drive hours away from its home. What a jerk?! As I stood on the dock of the bay, I watched a seal (or maybe a sea lion), lie on a concrete block … Continue reading Changing Shape
