Toilet Paper and a Two-Year Old

For six months I have been trying to convince my two year old not to be scared of pull-ups, big boy Paw Patrol undies, and/or the potty chair. He has seemed quite terrified of it all. Today he and his five year old sister walked down the stairs, hand-in-hand, in their undies. His were of course the very cool Paw Patrol kind. She, then, grabbed the potty seat, placed it in the middle of the living room floor, and, in the past 20 minutes, he has peed in it three times.

What the heck?!

We carried it to the bathroom, dumped it in the toilet, partied, and gave him a gummy worm. He then grabbed the end of the toilet paper roll, which has miraculously stayed half full for three days now (I’m calling this a two fish, five loaves type of thing) and started walking away. I immediate tore it off, rescued the toilet paper, left him one piece, explained that he’s a boy and doesn’t need it unless he poops, and then stashed the other three rolls that had been in plain sight in our toilet paper holder into the cabinet, believing that the one half full roll will last at least another week and a half or more.

Sometimes others mothers make ya feel like you suck.

Ya know. The parents who have a clean house. The ones who appear to have fun with nearly every single moment of the parenting lives. The ones who have clothes laid out, lunches packed, and homework folders signed before they get in the vehicle to head to school before the tardy bell rings. The ones who have eight years worth of patience when a child is crying over a bump in a sock.

Sometimes it’s not a mother. Sometimes it’s a kid who just turned five five days ago who makes you question your ability to parent.

But…ya know what I have on her? I can reach all the light switches in this house.

(P.S. No need to feel obligated to provide encouragement that I don’t suck as a mother. I love my kids. I bought enough food and pray with a lot of faith that they will not go hungry nor have to wipe with leaves during the global pandemic of 2020. I feed them, clothe them, spank them out of love when they need it, play yahtzee and farkle with them, and think up the most random childhood stories to tell them before they go to sleep.)

Alisha potty trained Hads. Mom potty trained Beans. Beans apparently is going to potty train Macs. I will try again with J-man.


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