There’s something about rain and a porch and an empty screen that brings me a little extra joy..even when I don’t have anything specific to say. The past two months have been defined by change and I have not sat down to write since June 19th…which is quite weird for me. You’re welcome for the break from reading about (or the scrolling past) my insanity.
But here we are again. Just keep scrolling if you are like, “Dang it…she’s back!”
I remember June 12th was somewhat normal and then everything since then has been change after change after change.
After three years of Kyle’s suggesting, I finally gave in and applied for a job closer to family. Not going to lie, I wouldn’t say I was a joy to be around in those couple of weeks following my job offer. I had been staying home with the kiddos and working “part time” (AKA way more than 40 hours a week, but at night time) for 3.5 years…and the last thing I wanted to do was go back to normal “work.”
During those years, I wore way too many hats. I tried to keep four kids fed, bathed sometimes, and alive, completed a doctorate, ran a photography business, was under mentorship for my mental performance consulting certification, worked for my brother, taught 12 hours of college courses, was the interim director of a campus ministry (for a year of this time), and I tried to love my law enforcement-crazy-shift-working-Kyle well. I stayed up until two or three in the morning almost every night and drug myself out of bed four or five hours later to tackle another hectic day. I ran myself absolutely ragged and would have lumped myself into the category of workaholic. Not even being sarcastic, believe it or not. It was like this drug of accomplishment that I craved.
I applied for what I thought was my dream job twice over the course of two years and got two noes. Thankfully, I am very much a God-is-in-control-and-could-have-nailed-down-a-yes-for-me type of thinker and I took that second no as more of a “let’s re-evaluate” than a “Brooke, you’re not good enough” cue. (I highly recommend this type of thinking because you are good enough!)
Flash forward to today…God has done immeasurably more than all I asked for or even imagined. This job I hesitated on even applying for is far greater than I ever hoped it could be. It is a job where I oftentimes wonder if it’s too good to be true and then I remind myself that God knows our deepest desires and can do abundantly more than anything I could ever come up with in my small mind. Kyle is also in that same boat as well…a fantastic job with fantastic co-workers and hours and to top it all off…he gets to be home with me and the kiddos every night!
My kids bust out of school each day with their cousins and we all cruise home in my sister’s huge-oh creeper van. Sometimes I come home and notice my brother in law came by to eat my food (that I told him he could come eat) or maybe my sister’s at my house creating really cool parade costumes that children scream about wearing and then win all the fair tickets for how awesome it was or I bump into my grandpa or dad or some other relative while I’m running around town.
I’m very thankful God takes noes and turns them into His yesses. His yesses are way the heck better than any plan I could have come up with and I’m just over here being super-incredibly-thankful for it all. Oh…and now I don’t have to be a workaholic and that’s way cool.
Bye friends! 🙂