The warmth of my covers engulfs me as I hear the first chirps of morning. The gentle sun peaks in through my window as I roll over and snuggle up to Kyle, tucking my toes under his warm legs. The sounding alarm starts gently and grows into a roar.
Hopping up and gliding down the dim hallway to the boys room, I flip the switch and light floods the darkness as I slide into J’s bed. “Hey, little buddy! You ready to wake up?” He wiggles around, says, “no, I seep more,” before reaching up to play with my hair, and then slowly blinking open his sleepy eyes. Everly’s feet shuffle down the hallway “Hi, mom.”
“Hey kiddo,” I reply as I roll out of J’s bed and go make my first of many attempts to wake up the sleepiest of all the heads in my home. Heading to the living room, I turn on The Best of Shane & Shane before flipping on the lamp, plopping down on the couch, and grabbing my Bible. Hads comes through the kitchen asking where the sock basket is and is ready to leave for school within 8 minutes of her eyes opening. Teeth are brushed, shoes are put on, backpacks are grabbed before the girls and I head out the door.
The fall leaves crunch beneath our feet as we take off toward the school in the cool cloudy weather. Everly is off to dance with Mrs. Jacques, Harper, and BlakeLea as Hads and I continue to her school. After saying goodbye, I head back toward the house passing Everly’s drop-off and being filled with joy as I see her laughing and dancing with her friends. Back at the warm house Kyle is making eggs for the bare feet boys. Socks are found, backpacks are cleaned out, and more teeth are brushed before heading out the door to walk the boys over.
The next seven quiet hours will consist of preparing PowerPoints for lectures, meeting with my class of brilliant students, feeling the warmth of the laundry as I grab it out of the dryer and toss in the next load, responding to emails of incredible clients, grading discussion posts, unloading and loading the dishwasher suggesting we were once again able to feed our family, editing photos that remind me of God’s beauty, delivering galleries, and meeting with an occasional client who’s thrilled about their upcoming wedding.
Three in the afternoon will roll around and I will hear Zander and Malachi throw open the front door. Zane and Everly will be a close second. I will pop up from the computer and head towards the school to see Zoey and J crossing the road where Mrs. Jacques is stationed day after day with her stop sign! Zoey, in her tininess, will swing her massive purple backpack off her shoulder and say, “Here, Aunt Brooke” before I take off running just to hear her say, “No, you hold it” and giggling as she and J dart after me trying to make me carry her backpack. It’s my new funnest game we play.
High school Lexi and her friends will stroll up shortly after. Zoey, having ditched her purple backpack by now, will run to her “Yexi!!” Followed by J, “Best friend!!” Zac and Haddi, always smiling and chatting about something, will mozy into the yard next. A few minutes later my sister will bebop into the driveway in her 15 passenger creeper van. When purchasing this vehicle her husband questioned how many times they’d actually fill this vehicle up. Let’s just say it often runneth over.
Okay guys. I have to stop here. The goal was to romanticize it all. An entire day. I made it until 3:00 p.m. The romanticized version is making me feel like I’m only giving you half of the story.
What about the lost socks, the missing toothbrush, the shorts that don’t fit, the dirty shirts Evs wants to rewear, Haddi’s desire to be the first one to school and frustration if we don’t leave the house by 7:30 a.m., Malachi’s 20 minute wake-up process, and the fact that I just realized I forgot to buy snacks for J’s snack day and the store doesn’t open until after school starts. What about the struggle of blow drying wet hair on a child who does not desire her hair to be blow dried? What about the lost shoes? What about the fact that we only have one heel left of the loaf of bread and that does not cut it for two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. What about the dirty house that needs cleaning, but has to wait until this gallery is finished, or that class is taught. What about the fighting that ensues over the silly football or who gets to ride the new bike? What about the frustration when they realize one of the children finished off the cinnamon toast crunch or froot loops and ruined their after school cereal dreams?
What about it?
It’s there. All the struggle is there, but all the beauty is there also.
It would be easy for me to continue on and paint a picture of the beauty of my life because it is beautiful. There is love. There is goodness. There are cute little giggles and snuggles. But, there is reality and ugly. Children fighting. Frustration. Pandemonium.
Romanticization reminds us of the beauty of the ordinary. It shifts our perspective to gratitude. It reminds us to appreciate the mundane parts of life. It’s a vehicle to attention and intentionality.
It’s easy to fall into negative thinking. It’s easy to be swept away in life’s chaos. It’s easy to get to a point you’re just counting down hours or days or months. Are we savoring all of the blessings God has given us? Are we soaking in all the goodness of life? All the glorious little things?
Yoga instructor Karen Rigsby said, “Attention is where your eyes focus. Intention is where your heart is focused.” What do your eyes focus on? What does your heart focus on?
Staying present and staying grateful are two things that help shift my mindset from the chaos to the stillness, from the frustration to the appreciation, from the unpleasant to the beauty. Now more than ever do I see the beauty of Jesus moving away from the crowds; the beauty of “be still”; the beauty of taking our thoughts captive.
Let our eyes look to Jesus. Let our hearts find Him.
Let us gaze upon the beauty of the blessings we’re given.
Let us rest in His goodness. Let us linger in His love.
Let us soak in the grace that we’re so unworthy of.
Gratitude
In a 2015 article, researchers examined character strengths and virtues that play a role in human flourishing. Among the traits were some big daddies like love, creativity, spirituality, and others, but the best signifier of overall flourishing was gratitude (MadeFor, n.d., Gratitude pp. 8-9). Gratitude is a state of being able to point out the good things in life even when things are not so easy. Gratitude can bind people together and improve physical and mental health.
In a gratitude study from 1998, researchers found that DHEA, a naturally occurring hormone that functions as an antidepressant increased an incredible 100% after a month of gratitude training, and a 23% reduction in cortisol, a stress hormone that activates the fight-or-flight response (MadeFor, n.d., Gratitude, p.10).
Philippians 4:8-9 says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
I love God’s vastness and that He created all things and holds all things together. I love that there have been numerous times over the years when the results of a research study reminds me of a passage of scripture. I can’t help but wonder if God is like, hey guys, I told you this years ago! So not only when you’re feeling bogged down should we go to gratitude, but it seems as though it should simply be a way of living.
Haddi spent a stint of time living in our basement. We painted it, hung decorations, laid some carpet; it wasn’t a dungeon. However, the stairway down remained pretty lame-o. After a few weeks of noticing her attitude being quite negative, I took her a container of purple paint and a paintbrush, and asked her to start painting what she’s grateful for. The list of words grew; now one wall is completely covered. Shoes, family, giraffes, specific people, rain, fall, swimming pools, trees, the list continues to grow.
Life can suck, but life is also incredibly wonderful. Think about these things.