This weekend I ran 13.1 miles through Red Rock Canyon Adventure Park by myself. Invitations were given freely, but it seems the opportunity to run long distances through sandy trails doesn’t appeal to the masses. The invitations weren’t given because I needed someone to talk to or to distract me from the pain or boredom of running, they were given because running through the park alone terrifies me. It was quiet on the trails and depending on the trees, the vantage point wasn’t always clear; I would be in solitude and then all of a sudden a person would appear – please don’t be a murderer. I’m not sure if I was more scared of the rustles in the leaves or knowing, just around a corner, an unfamiliar person might come into view.
The second I started down the trail, Alex Honnald’s voice popped into my mind, “You face the fear because the goal demands it.”
The exact goal was number one on my 2025 hefty goal list: “Do a half marathon trail run WITH KYLE!” What I learned is that I cannot set goals that include other people. Originally the plan was to have a mini getaway and run through the woods with my husband, but realized I had booked a wedding on every single weekend that a trail run, close by, was happening. In June, I did my six month check in to the hefty goal list and this was the revision “Kyle is adamant about not participating in the 13.1. At this point, the plan is to run Red Rock trails from back to front 2.5 times and call that the trail run. Surely I can convince him to do at least half of it with me.” Well he was convinced and ready for that, but childcare did not work in our favor. So solo it was!
This was a somewhat flippant goal that did not have a strong why behind it. Even having finished, I still cannot place my finger on the why. Did I plan it out well? If 24 hours notice is planning, then sure. Did I train or prepare for this? No. Did it hold a lot of meaning? Not really.
But there are some desires we have that run deep. Desires that have strong whys and don’t let us remain comfortable. Desires that last for years or decades. And when I think about those desires, the power that lands underneath Alex’s quote amplifies. You take the step of faith. You make the uncommon decision. You ruffle the feathers. You face the consequences because the desire outweighs the fear.
Toward the end, I made the decision to run in the opposite direction of my car and up and out of the canyon. If you’ve ever been to Red Rock, you know the hill. Why not finish with that? Sounds splendid.
My thoughts upon ending were, I’m glad that’s over, not sure solo trail running is for me, I think I’ll stick to the roads. Relief that the creatures on the trail didn’t consume me and I was not murdered by flannel shirt guy also flickered into my mind.
Goals don’t always make sense to others and sometimes they don’t even make sense to the one chasing them, but in my experience, regardless of size, importance, or comfort level, they teach us. Whether flippant or significant, they are steps that let us practice for the ones that are significant, the ones that remain for decades regardless of whether or not anyone is standing next to you.
One thought on “Face the Fear Because the Goal Demands It”