Jeremiah lost his first tooth today. It was a moment full of excitement that proudly displayed his new smile, cheers from his family, and a flicker of fear as he realized something was different. We took the photos, tucked the tooth under his pillow, and then went outside to play in the snow.
Hours later, I sat there looking at his new smile. This wasn’t just his first lost tooth – it was the first lost tooth of my youngest. There won’t be another first like this for my kiddos.
Although it’s bittersweet, there are some major wins that go along with this time frame. No more carseat shuffling, kids who can bathe, feed, and wipe themselves. Crying while watching them do what they love, simply because I’m proud of the them. Loads of man-power for some quick house cleaning and hearing them say words that are far beyond what I assumed was in their vocabulary.
And when I hear mommas who are where I was six years ago, I can’t help but dish out encouragement because I remember the whirlwind. And when someone says, “Oh…one day you’ll miss it,” while all I wanted was a three minute-shower and a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. So if this is where you are, know this: you are seen by a whole crowd of mommas who’ve walked a similar road and are cheering you on!
If you’ve followed this blog for long, you might know pieces of my story. For those of you who don’t, here’s the nutshell version. In 2018, I left my career to stay home with my kids – something I never saw coming. After months of prayer and conversations with Kyle, I resigned knowing I was stepping into unknown territory, trusting that somehow God would provide.
And He did.
Fast forward to present day. I didn’t know it yet, but I was about to come across a role that would feel like a gift I never thought to ask for. I’ve got a doctoral degree in a field that I’m incredibly passionate about and intrigued by, but here in Oklahoma, some days it felt like I might as well have had a degree in basket weaving. Performance psychology. What the heck is that?
Another thing that took place in the week leading up to finding this job posting was that I read Psalm 104. This chapter caught my attention with the impeccable wonder of God to set things in motion. Some of the language here: He lays, He makes, He set, You covered, You appoint, You cause. You formed, You give.
He is the One and only who sets things in motion. It reminds me of Job 38 when God says, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?” Who determined the measurements. Who shut in the seas. Who set the limits for the sea and said thus far shall you come and no farther. Who commands the morning and caused the dawn to know its place?
It is beyond my comprehension. God did. God created. God did it all. He is the one who sets things in motion.
This was my prayer.
God, if you desire me to have this position, let it not be based on my education, my experience, my personality, my anything, but only because You set it in motion. Not by my strength or power, but because YOU SAID let it be!
I interviewed on a Monday. I woke up at 4:30 the next morning thinking about some of the things the director had mentioned. We’re expanding and adding a new position. And I felt these words creep in that morning, “It was created.” God calls all things into existence that do not exist. Romans 4:17
On Wednesday, I talked to my potential supervisor and with additional details was even more convinced of how fitting this position this would be. “We’re still deliberating and should still have an answer by Friday.” Despite the fact I’d been on my knees praying for weeks, I know that when two are three are gathered, God is there in their midst. So of course I grabbed my husband and children who are full of childlike faith and convinced the entire family to get on our knees in the middle of the living room; praying and believing.
I text a few of my friends who have the whole pray-and-mountains-move type of prayers and faith. One responded with “Praying in agreement with you! God’s will is already set in motion and will be done!” The words set in motion made me laugh. Remembering Psalm 104 and what my prayer had been all along.
At the end of the day I thought of Daniel.
“Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your god or worship the golden image that you have set up.” (Daniel 3:18)
Even if He doesn’t do what we’re asking for, we will still worship God. We will still keep our eyes fixed on Him and nothing else.
Acts 5:39 – If this plan or this undertaking is of man, it will fail, but if it is of God, it will fall to nothing. Believing that regardless of myself, that God’s will is perfect and He will place me exactly where I need to be.
After days and days of wondering and trusting, being full of faith that God can do it, and being full of question, “Will God do it?” On Friday, I was offered the position and the second I hung up the phone I laughed and cried and laughed and cried because of how grateful I am.
When I later found out how many people applied for this position, I was honestly flabbergasted. It only deepened my gratitude – not because of what it says about me, but because it reminded me of what I had prayed from the beginning: let this be something You set in motion, not something of my own works.
I am so incredibly grateful for the years I had at home – the sacred, exhausting, beautiful work of raising my kids in those early moments. And now with all of them in school, I feel a genuine excitement about stepping back into work, using the education God allowed me to somehow attain even with four teeny kiddos, and trusting that this next season is just as intentional as the last.
If you’re over there praying big prayers, believing big things, just remember, He is able. He sets things in motion.