Haddi is starting a flower shop. She has precisely 31 little sprouts today. Last month she loathed me because I wouldn’t let her start an animal shelter in our backyard. I’m a much bigger fan of the flower shop.
But 31 isn’t enough. She insists we buy more seeds, more soil, and more of the little black seed starter tray things. I guess she’s planning to go big. (Question…do children have to pay taxes? Like all those 10 year old influencers who make crap tons of money?)
How many times have I questioned the enough-ness. Do I have enough clean socks? Do we have enough tortillas? Am I good enough? Smart enough? Do I have enough money? Do I have enough gas to make it across town today Do I have enough education? Do I have enough compassion? Do I have enough courage? Enough faith? Enough love? Am I enough?
I wore a bracelet in high school that had an engraving of two fish and five loaves that said “expect miracles.” I had read the bible enough to know God was able, but after seeing that constant reminder day after day I started living more expectantly.
In John 6 a large crowd is coming to Jesus and Philip says two hundred denarii worth of bread wouldn’t even be enough for each of them to get a little. Andrew comes by and and says there is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what is that for a crowd this large. So Jesus is like, okay…have them sit down. These thousands of people sit down and Jesus gives thanks and then distributed it. The same with the fish. Everyone ate until they were full and then Jesus asked them to gather what was left so that nothing would be lost. They filled twelve baskets of leftovers!
I was reading a devotional from one of my favorite authors today, Jennie Allen, and she said, “Philip believed there wasn’t enough. Philip believed they were in this with only their own resources. But Andrew had at least enough faith to bring Jesus whatever they had, even though it was insufficient.”
I walk in my own resources far too often…thinking I only have this much patience, this much self-control, this much goodness, this much faithfulness, this much ________________. But I read this scripture in John 6 hoping to constantly have the desire to say, God, I’m bringing my insufficiencies to the table knowing full well that You can take what I have and do far more than I could ever think or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).
If you are walking in your own resources, remember to live expectantly!