My kids visited others for two days. Kyle and I went out to eat, to church, on a hike, and worked in between. By the end of the night we got a taste of the boredom that must come with being an empty nester. We sat on our bed and played, make the noise of the face I make and make your best _________ face.
“Okay, make your best serial killer face.”
Kyle understands the assignment, ducks his head, and then scarily makes his reveal.
Brooke hollers like a legitimately scared human and then proceeds to laugh and cry for the next 3 minutes.
This week I broke the SMOS/US ban (well kind of) and purchased a blanket for our bed. For many years, like 24 years, I have considered buying a bedspread that spoke to my soul, but assumed it would cost many many dollars, realized it wasn’t a need, and frugal-pants-Brooke wasn’t having it. This week I realized it was our February 13th day, so in discussing with Kyle what I wanted, I realized it was time to buy a bedspread. It was $18.29 and feels like you’re snuggling a whole bundle of great pyrenees puppies (minus the shedding). It’s an ultra soft and cozy terracotta and white aztec flannel fleece bohemian blanket that makes my soul happy. If you google this, you will see it.
One thing I’ve realized over the course of this SMOS/US ban is that it may be completely unnecessary as I’ve found the majority of our spending is on food, bills, occasional children’s clothing….and more food. After the first couple weeks, I realized this was going to be incredibly boring to write about because there’s no spice to it. There’s no “Oh man, I really wanted that new piece of workout equipment, but I’m on a SMOS/US ban so I will muster my inner strength and say no.” OR “Golly! I went to Barnes & Noble, filled my arms with 13 books, and then had to put them all back.” OR “Gosh nabbit! (This is Zane Murray’s impersonation of Coach Pete Phillips…not sure if that’s actually what he says.) I desire this new decoration for my little hallway, but I’m on a SMOS/US ban.”
I’m over here just trying to feed the people. All that to say, I don’t know if you’d consider the SMOS/US ban broken since it was a gift for our date-iversary (which we actually celebrate because it will remain a day that is cherished forever), but it wasn’t on our approved list with the birthdays so maybe it’s broken. BUT…this is a silly made up game I’m playing with myself so what does it really matter? The tracking lasted for 2.5 months and has been relatively boring so I’m guessing this is probably the last time I’ll mention it. However, it was great for awareness!
Aside from this we are currently on virtual day number 2. Listen. I understand the thinking behind this and will not be a complainer, BUT golly g-wolly, my kids were on a flipping wild banshee craze of insanity yesterday. J was painted green and looked like Old Gregg, Malachi and Zander kept running to the mailbox barefoot to test their toughness, Everly kept insisting it was hot, and sweet Hads who slept until 2:00 PM and, who didn’t want to put up with the noise, hid in her room and read all day…then made brownies so that we all felt fat and miserable.
Speaking of miserable. Anyone else feeling a light dusting (or a blizzard) of depression? Extreme burnout from the past few months? No, just me. Okay. (But you can tell the truth in your head if that’s you!)
On Monday, I left my house at 6:15 in the A.M. to go teach a couple of my courses at Northwestern in person. Normally I’m zooming in, but it feels like Christmas morning when I actually get to be in the classroom and see their faces in real life…so I made the trek! Ran through Student Services on my way to my first class and saw the Dean of Students who I’ve always considered my Alva-brother. Made a quick trip to the administration building and chatted with the V.P. of Academics and my sweet friend Debbie who only had 10 days left before RETIREMENT (and got to swing a couple of those at home thanks to the blistering cold weather)! Swung by and said “ello” to the guy who left for a few years ago and then made his way back to N-Dub. The lady who was the first to ever have Hads in daycare. Went back through Student Services and chatted with a friend from the past who I vividly remember snuggling teeny tiny baby Hads one day when I wanted to get out of the house and do something at my office. Quick chat about habits, neuroscience, and sport psychology with another of my Alva-brothers, Shane, who I bumped into looking for one of my best friends, his wife. And lastly, my great friend Ethan Sacket, who never misses an opportunity to converse about Jesus and speak goodness and truth!
It’s always wonderful to catch up, but I’m not going to lie, the drive from Alva to the Carmen turn leaves me feeling quite desolate. I thought man I just miss these people and their thoughts and their passion and their vision and their kindness and their presence in my life.
These days I work from home and my brain goes one thousand and three different directions in a given hour and although it’s nice to wear yoga pants and never change out of my running shoes, it’s a dangerous place to be when you’re daughter is a really good baker and you miss human interaction. I am about to either start a podcast so I can intentionally create good, rich, meaningful conversations (holla if you’re good to share your life story with others) or find a job that doesn’t involve my four walls that is in a location that’s loaded down with grown ups. Maybe it’s time for me to be a Walmart door greeter or the Dollar General shelf stocker or who needs a grant? I’ll write a grant for you if you let me work in your office with other humans. Or maybe if I pray hard enough, Brew 92 will magically re-appear, I’ll beg them to hire me because “I have a brilliant personality,” I can learn to make good coffee, and maybe even sell it for a quarter a cup to the people who promise to stay and communicate with me for at least 30 minutes.
Time out. I know there has to be a group of old-Jesus-loving-grandpas who meet for coffee somewhere in this town. Maybe they’ll let me join the conversation. Man, I miss my morning convos with Richard and Cliff.
Anyway.
Bye friends. 🙂